Communication Strategies Essay
Communication is an essential element that helps human beings to connect. Through communication, one can know how the other person feels, what they should do, what makes the other person happy, and what irritates them. Communication also determines how we interact with people we work with, friends and family. In this paper, I will consider communication with my boyfriend. I live some miles away from him, and it takes a while before we meet due to the busy schedules that we both have in our lives, including education and work. We communicate over the phone through texting or calling. Thanks to various technologies such as WhatsApp and Skype, communication between people who are far from each other can communicate and connect. Our conversation usually takes place at any time of the day and night before we sleep.
Communication between loved ones
In the morning before we begin our day, he or I can send a message to check up on how their night was and their plan for the day. Later in the day, I would call through Skype to check if he was busy, and we would talk for some time. The length of the conversations depends on the topic as in some instances, it would last less than ten minutes, while in others, it can go up to 30 minutes. Occasionally, I would visit him, or he could visit, and we would have a face to face communication at that moment. Through our conversation, I can always know the mood he is having as he talks differently based on the day’s experiences. Though at times, it is difficult to understand how he feels because when conversing through the phone, either by texting or calling, one cannot see the other person’s reaction. As for me, I usually share a lot of what has been happening to me throughout the day or my opinions on the current trends in the country and world. Most of the conversations revolve around me and the exciting things that have happened to us through the day or planning what we will do on the weekends or when we get time to meet.
Difference in compunction between men and women
Bradley indicates that communication between men and women is different. A good percentage of men tend to talk less than women. The listening strategy of people of different genders is different. Depending on the topic, people can converse differently as when I suggest something about sports, my boyfriend will tend to talk more than I expect, but when I change the subject to fashion, he will speak less since he is not familiar with the issue. It is the truth as through phone conversations or while texting; he tends to get out of words quickly, especially when he is done telling me about something, and he usually suggests we talk over something else. Bradley advises that for the communication to improve, both of us need to be more creative as through creativity, we can come up with interesting topics that can make both of us have excellent communication. I realized I am good at talking but poor in listening since I talk more than him, which is a mistake as, according to Bradley, communication needs to involve both talking and listening. To improve my communication with him, I will need to adjust my talking, and I also need to understand what information can be useful to avoid hurting his moods, with will create a barrier in communication.
According to Carolyn, who has researched communication between people who are dating, most people in the world do not know the purpose of communication. She claims that communication is the link that will establish the relationship that the two of you will have. It is the truth as people know how to communicate, they would find it easy to solve some of the challenges they have and eliminate the barriers to communication. She introduced an essential aspect which she termed ‘collaborative communication.’ She emphasized three key things that can help improve communication are focusing on oneself, revealing feelings, and disclosing my wants. Based on this, I feel that I have not been communicating the required way and need to find ways to improve my communication. I fail to disclose my wants, making it difficult for the other person to know what I want or what I was expecting. I sometimes fail to reveal my feelings, which impacts our communication, especially when I am not comfortable with a suggestion he gives.
In her article, Kathryn indicates that according to psychologists, the study has shown that women share emotions when they talk. Men share ideas and suggestions, and they usually avoid talking about their feelings which makes them good at listening but poor at speaking. It is the truth as I share my emotions with my boyfriend more, but it’s hard for him to disclose his feelings for him. To improve the communication, I will need to make him feel comfortable, talk about things that he wants to hear, and avoid making the conversations revolve around me. It will make him speak about his emotions, and I will understand him better, building the relationship to improve. Kathryn also states that having a face to face communication helps to connect people better, and they will share more of what they have. We mostly depend on phone conversations, and we can change that by allocating more time to meet despite the busy schedules.
We have different personalities as I am an extrovert while he is an introvert. I speak more and tend to be poor at listening, while he talks less, and he is good at listening and advising. I have learned that I need to listen more as this will improve our communication despite having a different personality from him. Also, although technology has made communication more comfortable, it is better to have face-to-face communication often as it will improve the relationship. Through face-to-face communication, one can understand the other person better since they also communicate through nonverbal styles. Based on what psychologists say about what communication between two people should be, I need to improve my communication skills and patterns. One of the elements I have discovered is that I need to be more creative to ensure we have a good conversation either on the phone or face to face. Creativity will help me have more interesting topics when I talk to him, and the conversation can last for long compared to the short conversations we have been having. Communication can’t be one way as at times, the other person can feel one is not making enough effort to contribute to what we are talking about.
I also need to improve my nonverbal communication styles as I may have been inappropriately using them, making it difficult for him to understand what I may be communicating. People tend to express their feelings either through words or nonverbal communication. It can be important, especially when we may have a conflict. Another vital aspect is that I need to allocate more time to communicate with him as this will help improve the relationship we have since we will be connecting better. Despite the busy schedules and lack of what we can talk about when we text or call, communication is essential, and it will boil down to people’s creativity. Spending more time communicating will improve our experiences, which will ensure we will not experience a situation where we have nothing to talk about. Learning how to communicate has been crucial in helping me to improve my relationship. I have learned the mistakes I have been making and how to correct them. By comparing what communication should be based on what psychologists have studied and suggested, I will improve my communication. Improving my communication with him will also help me improve my communication with other people I interact with throughout the day.